My Source Of True Happiness

Photo by Denise Johnson on Unsplash

The year was 1999 when I lost all my happiness when my newly wed wife disappeared on me. Someone whom I am still so crazy about, so in love with, had gone missing.

Overwhelmed my body, my mind, lamentation took control of me.

The thought that she could have been abducted by her ex-boyfriend, that my love of my life was gone forever from my life. Disgusted and angry, my body and my mind was overwhelmed by hatred.

1. Eat, Sleep, Pray and Love — all which bring joy bring suffering. With the diminishing of joy increasingly suffering emerge and eventually over time as suffering dissolved there come the moment when the feeling of neither love nor suffering emerged.
2. Occasional experiences of past memories create both joy and suffering.
3. The deeper you love the more potential of greater sorrow.
4. Unless you are always living and enjoying at present moment one will not benefit out of any loving relationship.
5. A mere experience intertwined with feelings will soon fade into the memory bank and does nothing more than maintaining the source of suffering.
6. Love is a basket of feelings mixed with degree of concentration, effort, execution, speech, intentions and point of views, all of which will dissipate away.
7. Cumulated effects of loving experiences and feelings will be recalled time and time again like karma being recalled in us to put us in the right or wrong place based on our past actions and thoughts.
8. Illogical as it seems, perception which changes with circumstances and time, is Love as much as we seek, pleasure against logic; love is actually suffering disguise as pleasure.

Happily married for 22 years, I recalled memories of the past, of my wife abduction by her ex-boyfriend, of the sorrow and suffering I had over 12 months, and of the joy and affection we have been sharing for more than 20 years.

Knowing well that I will lose my wife again to ageing and death, that lamentation will strike again, except this time my body and my mind will not be overwhelmed, because with knowledge and experience I have developed wisdom.

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